You are Stronger than You Think

I have never considered myself a runner. When I was a kid, I enjoyed sprints and was pretty fast, but anything long-distance I never was able to finish. Trying to run a mile was very difficult for me. The funny thing, though, is I have always loved running. There is something so freeing about it, like Julie Andrews in the opening scene of The Sound of Music. I have tried many times over the years to run a 5k. It's something I've always wanted to do, but I have hit against so many walls. I have trouble with sports/humidity induced asthma, weak ankles and restless leg among other things, so after a few weeks of training my legs and feet would be in such horrible pain that I would end up quitting. I just accepted that I was not made to do any kind of long-distance running.

A few months ago, while I was working out, I dislocated my shoulder and found myself in almost 2 months of physical therapy. During that time, I couldn't continue my normal workouts. It meant no push-ups, weights, burpees, etc. The only other workout option I could think of during that time was walking or running. At first, even running was painful for my shoulder, so I would run for only 30 seconds to a minute at a time until my shoulder was stronger. Since it wasn't long-distance running and I was enjoying it so much (I was still in The Sound of Music stage), I convinced myself that maybe I really was a runner. I had the bright idea for Jon and I to sign up for a 5k. So we did it! We signed up and started training. It was springtime, cool in the mornings and we were doing a mix of walking and running. It was great! But, we had not thought through the fact that the 5k was at the end of July and we would have to train in the middle of the summer, or the fact that eventually I would have to run the entire 5k! But, now we were committed. We had to see it through. So, I grabbed my inhaler and my music and we began to really train hard for the race. Each day got more and more humid, each run got longer and longer and all of a sudden there was the familiar pain in my legs. Normally, I would have quit at this point, but we were committed. I kept pushing through the pain and I had an amazing husband who rubbed my feet at night just so I could fall asleep. There were some days when our run was a great success and then there were days that were horrible failures where I just quit and walked home in tears. It was a battle! And surprisingly, the biggest battle for me was not physical. It was mental. It was thoughts that said, "You're not going to finish", "You're not strong enough", "What are you doing? You're not a runner". It was not an easy battle, but I kept fighting. I kept my headphones in with worship music playing and began to focus my thoughts and attention on the One where my strength comes from. I began to actually pour myself out on Him in worship and thankfulness as I was running and reminding myself that "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." And finally the day came that I was able to run the full distance without stopping. It was a day of celebration and we still had about 6 weeks before the race to start working on our time. Those last weeks were extremely difficult because of the heat and humidity. There were days that I just couldn't finish the run.  But, still,  I was running. I was doing what I never thought I could do! I was actually overcoming all the obstacles. I realized my body was capable of anything. It all had to do with my belief system.

We made it to race day! It was time to run and we were feeling great! I just knew we would finish with our best time ever. The race began and I could tell we were off to a great start. And then it happened. We hadn't even made it to the 1 mile marker yet and I stepped on an uneven crack. My ankle went one way and I went the other. My first thought was that it was broken. I was devastated. Jon helped me up and we began walking (hopping) forward trying to find a first aid tent. I was so disappointed thinking there was no way I would be able to finish the race. We couldn't see the tent and as I hopped around for a few minutes I realized I couldn't really feel my ankle or foot anymore.  I knew that probably wasn't a good sign, but it also meant I wasn't feeling any pain. I looked at Jon and said, "I am finishing this race!" (Disclaimer: do not try this at home. To all those in the medical field out there, I know this was probably not the best decision. But, what can I say? I was determined! 😉) I began to walk, then jog and by the time we were at the 1 mile marker it had been almost 16 minutes, but I was running. I ran the last 2 miles and there it was. The finish line! We made it. I finished the race! We finished a little over 34 minutes which was definitely not our fastest time, but I was so proud of myself for finishing after the fall. I took my shoe off after we finished and my foot began to blow up like a balloon. It was a very severe sprain. I am currently in the middle of what the doctor thinks will be a 12 week process. I'm back at physical therapy, wearing a brace, and still have another 4-5 weeks before the doctor will let me try lightly jogging. But, I am working hard to get my ankle strong again and we are already thinking about the next race we can sign up for.

I have learned a lot and am still learning so much through this process. I am learning patience and endurance. I am learning what I am capable of and to be proud of myself. It has been hard work. I had to make a decision not to give up and that I was going to finish the race no matter what. I had to learn to be ok with the days that were failures and not let that stop me. I had to learn to give myself grace. After a bad run, I had to let it go and get back up the next day and give it my all. I had to start believing I could do it. I had to uncover the lies I was believing about myself and speak (I literally talked to myself as I ran) truth about myself. Truth really does set us free! I am still learning patience in the healing process. This part has been almost as hard for me as the training. It is hard being told you can't do something. I'm not going to lie, I literally burst into tears after leaving the doctors office when he told me how long it would be before I could run again. It is hard having such a big setback and dealing with the disappointment of almost having to start over. And I am definitely getting a little stir crazy with having to rest my ankle so much, but I have to keep telling myself I WILL run again. And I am extremely thankful that this is only temporary when I think of so many who are unable to run. I AM strong and I will be training for my next race in no time.

Maybe you are walking through a difficult situation, have a difficult fitness goal or have a dream in your heart, but it seems impossible. Whatever it is, I am saying to you, "you CAN do it!" Tell all those thoughts and lies that say it's not possible to be quiet! It may not be easy. It may take time. You may have to push through some pain, but the reward of finishing the race is so worth it! You may fall down, but that's ok! FORGIVE YOURSELF, get back up and keep going. (I really did have to forgive myself for falling on race day.) Don't let fear of failing hold you back. Push past disappointment.  Don't give up. Don't quit! Don't be afraid to go after your dream! Put people around you that will cheer you on. And remember that you have a Heavenly Father who is always cheering you on!

Most of the time, the only thing holding us back is our mind. Change your mind to believe that ALL things are possible. Uncover the lies and start believing truth. Start running your race and you will see that you really are STRONGER than you think!

Don't Hold Back

We recently returned from our first Lowry family road trip of the summer! My sister lives in California and is home visiting this summer, so we try to cram as much family fun in as possible. Growing up I always loved road trips. I loved the feeling of adventure and the quality time it provided with my family. This trip did not disappoint! There was lots of fun and laughing! It also was preparing us for our next road trip later this month, which will be quite a bit longer.

This trip we stayed a couple of nights at one of our favorite beaches, Longboat Key, but the main reason for heading down there was to visit my Aunt Mary Ann.  She is in an Alzheimers home and it is always such a joy to visit! I love going and listening to the stories about she and my dad when they were growing up and I always learn new things about them I didn't know before. I never met my grandparents on my dad's side of the family, so I love learning anything I can about them. For instance, this trip I learned from my Aunt Mary Ann that my grandmother loved to play tennis! I love seeing my aunt laugh as old stories are being told, but most of all I love seeing how she lights up when you talk about the Lord.  I love how tender her heart is towards Him. It was my aunt who invited my dad to a prayer meeting where he was radically saved. As we were talking, Jon said to her, "you know, if you had never invited John (my dad) to that prayer meeting where he met the Lord, none of us would be where we are." And he went on to explain, if he had not had that encounter with the Lord, he probably would have never met my mom, I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't have married Jon.  She responded by saying, "you never know what one little thing will do for someone, so don't hold back!"

That quote really stuck with me.  How many times do we hold back because we are afraid of what people think? Or how many times do we have a passing thought of something that could bless or encourage someone but we never act on it? So many times it's not just a passing thought it is actually the Holy Spirit speaking to us and we just ignore it because we are afraid or even too busy to stop and think about those around us.  I want to be one that doesn't hold back. One who, when someone is on my mind I check on them or encourage and pray for them. One who smiles at a stranger. One who encourages a mom at the grocery store and tells her she's doing a great job. One who pays for the coffee of the car behind them in the Starbucks line just to bless them. One who, like my aunt, is not afraid to invite someone to a prayer meeting. Let's look around today and listen to what the Holy Spirit might be prompting us to do. Let's be bold and courageous. Let's learn to have compassion for those around us. Let's learn to not just think about it, but have the courage to act on it. Because, "you never know what one little thing will do for someone, so DON'T HOLD BACK!"

My dad and my Aunt Mary Ann from a few months ago

Views from our condo

Waiting for sunset

Watching the sunset is our favorite thing
at Longboat Key!
This year did not disappoint!

Pictures from last year's sunset

If It's Hard...

One of the workouts we do during the week is Daily Burn. It's a new fun workout everyday and it encourages and inspires us to live a healthy lifestyle. The other day, one of the trainers said, "If it's hard, that means something inside is changing." We've all heard similar phrases with fitness like, "no pain, no gain" and other cliches. But, when I heard the trainer say this, I started thinking about more than just my workout.

"If it's hard, that means something inside is changing."

I started thinking of some of the hard and painful things I have had to walk through and then what I look like now on the other side. I started thinking of my relationship with the Lord and how much deeper it is because I have walked through hardship and had to rely totally on Him. And, as hard as those times were, I am so grateful for what has changed in me and what my relationship with the Lord looks like now compared to how it was before those times. 

I think sometimes, especially for those of us who have been in the church a long time, we have a lot of head knowledge, but not a lot of experience or heart change. I can learn about the Lord and memorize Scripture, but sometimes it is not until I am tested that it begins to take root. I can read, believe and know that He is my Comforter, but it takes on a much deeper meaning when I actually have to walk through something where I need to be comforted by Him. It's in the times when it's hard, yet I make the choice to press into Him that change happens and the truths in the Bible become even more real to me. 

So many times we want to run from hardship, pain, hurt, disappointment, failure, etc., but if I run away from it or quit, change will never happen in me. When I face the pain head-on with my Daily Burn workout, my muscles become stronger, and when I face the pain head-on in life, holding on to Jesus, my relationship with Him becomes stronger and I get to actually experience the amazing truths in the Word and His freedom first hand! 

How much hurt, pain, and sadness do we live with for years and years that weigh us down because we are too scared to face it head-on. What if we didn't quit when things were hard? What if we didn't run from pain? Sometimes we just need to take small baby steps forward.  If I am wanting to do 50 push-ups but can only do 3, I have to learn to take baby steps forward to reach my goal. If I stop at 3 every time because that's what is comfortable, I will never reach my goal. It's when I do 4, 5 or 6, even when it hurts, that change starts to happen and I get stronger. We have to learn to take a step forward in our pain to see change happen. 

I love reading Psalms to see how David presented his pain and suffering to the Lord. I love how he was so raw in expressing what he was going through, but most of all I love how he always ended with, "but, You, Lord..." and would declare the promises of the Lord.  Psalm 13 out of the Passion Translation starts with, "I am hurting, Lord" but ends with, "I will sing my song of joy to You, the Most High, for in all this You have strengthened my soul."

I am learning to face the pain in life knowing that in all of it, He is strengthening my soul and drawing me closer to Him. I am learning that, just like David, it is possible to sing a song of joy in the midst of hardship. I am learning to stand on the promise of hope, joy, and freedom beyond what I can imagine as I face the pain and hand it to Him. I am so grateful for what He has done in my life!

In James out of The Message it says, "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get His help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it."

Let's make the decision to refuse to quit when things get hard. Let's choose to not be afraid or ashamed of pain. Let's declare His promises over our lives.  Let's be encouraged that "if it's hard, that means something inside is changing." And with Him, it is always changing for the better!